Are You A Priority?

I was recently talking to my husband about priorities in life. Priorities in our personal lives, people who are a priority in our lives, and if we are a priority in other people's lives. And, we realized it came down to mostly one thing.

Time.

If you make time for it, it means something to you. It's a priority.

Of course, for most of us, the first thing that comes to mind is our daily life. Things that we prioritize daily. We don't have time to exercise, but we will sit for 2 hours in the evening and watch Netflix. (Guilty.) I will complain that I need to work out but follow the statement with, "I just don't have time." But, I can move things around my schedule to go out to eat for lunch or watch a movie in the evening.

I'm really evaluating what my priorities in my life are and why. Why am I putting so much effort in certain parts of my life and giving less attention to other parts? Habit? Comfort? Effort? Energy? Why do I make cleaning a certain part of the house a huge priority, but neglect something way more important, like going grocery shopping? I sometimes put my time and effort into a useless task and then I realize I have wasted hours of my day on one task when I could have prioritized better and gotten way more work done and felt more accomplished, and probably slept better that night.

During this same conversation with my husband, we also talked about people in our lives that are a priority. Obviously, my husband and kids are my priority. But, there are other relationships in our lives that we find as a priority. We put so much effort to keep these relationships alive and healthy. This could be friendships, relationships with family, work relationships, etc.

Have you ever felt you are putting more effort into a relationship than the other person? That they are a priority in your life, but you aren't in theirs? It's seriously a  hard pill to swallow.

If you are a priority in someone's life, they won't fit you into their schedule when it's convenient, they will move their schedule around to keep the relationship alive. If you are a priority in someone's life, they will visit you whenever they can, not constantly make you feel guilty for not visiting. All the while, not changing their lives at all to make you a priority.

There are times in life when you have to let go of these relationships. I heard the analogy of a bad, achy tooth. Once the tooth is pulled out, you run your tongue over the empty space where it once was, missing it, but once it starts healing you realize how much pain it was causing you. You will always miss it, and remember it daily, but every day you life will be easier without the toothache. Same goes for these relationships. All the effort you are putting into a relationship that is, more or less, causing you pain, is hard to separate from. But, after a while you will look back and realize how toxic this relationship was and how much hardship it was causing in your daily life.

Remember to keep others, who are important to you, a priority in your life. How much effort does it take for a 10 minute phone call or a short text saying you are thinking about them? But, also remember to evaluate those relationships in your life that seem to be way too much work. Figure out why? Is it an easy fix? Are you just not a priority in their lives? Do you need to quietly step away from the relationship and free yourself from the pain it's causing?

If it's a priority, there will be time.

If you are a priority, they will make time.

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