Correct Once, Praise 10 Times

Correct Once, Praise 10 Times

 Some of the best advice I was ever given was about discipline. The way we discipline in our house is, I think, much different than many people. We don’t believe in physical punishment. No spankings, no hand smacking, no grabbing roughly by the arm, no flicking, etc. My children have rarely been set in ‘time out’, and majority of the time I will sit with them and discuss why they were there and how to better handle the situation. We (usually) don’t yell. We follow more of a ‘Gentle Parenting’ approach to discipline. Discussing how to handle situations, practicing apologizing, practicing accepting apologies. Don’t get me wrong, I lose my temper and yell. What parent hasn’t? No one is perfect. However, no matter the way you discipline, or correct, your child, the best advice I was ever given about correction was: ‘For every correction, you must praise your child TEN TIMES.” Obviously, not all at once, but throughout the day, find at least ten ways to praise your child. Doesn’t sound too hard right? On a good day, praising my child is easy. “Good job picking up your toys.” “Thank you for being a good listener.” “You are amazing.” “Do you realize how much I love you?” But, there are those days where I have to correct my child 5 or 6 times. That means, I have to find 50-60 things to praise them for. Big or small. I find, sometimes, it is easier to find flaws and the not-so good in people, including our children, and it is harder to find the good and praiseworthy. I have followed this advice with my two oldest children and it is amazing to see the difference in them when praised on a daily basis. They are more confident. They are proud to show me accomplishments, they spend time talking with me more. On the flipside, they aren’t afraid to make mistakes. They come to me when they have done something wrong and explain themselves. When I praise my children ten times more than disciplining, I am able to find more wonderful qualities about them that I adore, daily. I enjoy my time with my family more. I see the strengths in my children, getting to know their personalities. Try it out. Tell me what you think, and the results. I’m a believer. ‘For every correction, praise ten times’