The Things My Husband Will Never Understand

As a mom of little ones, 3 little ones, and a stay-at-home mom at that, there are things I talk to my husband about, and I realize now he will never understand.

Yes, men and women are equal. But, being a man and a woman is different. Being in the mom role and the dad role is also very different.

I wake up when the baby makes noise and that is my alarm clock. I may not have slept the night before because if one of the kids was up, I got up with them. There are times I shake my husband to wake him from sleep, but majority of the time he doesn't hear a thing and rolls over. He has the option to get up or not. I don't. It's me. If the kids need something in the night, I'm the default person to get up. Don't get me wrong, my husband will help in the night, but only if I can wake him up enough to do it. I don't have that luxury. Usually it's just easier and takes less time and energy to get up and take care of them myself. I haven't had a full night of sleep in years. I'm exhausted. But, I power through the exhaustion and keep going.

I shower quickly in the morning with a toddler in the bathroom with me. Someone is asking me questions and i am rarely alone. I get a good 5 minute shower and I dress in front of at least one child. I cover the dark circles under my eyes with some makeup to hide the exhaustion. I quickly brush my teeth and do my hair.

Then, the day begins.

The constant touching and grabbing of my legs.
The needing a drink.
Someone needs a snack.
Three meals are made.
Laundry is going in the laundry room.
The dishes.
 The cleaning.
The vacuuming.
Making beds.
Changing diapers.
Getting three kids dressed.
Cleaning the high chair multiple times a day.
The 5 year old asking questions and wanting a decent conversation.
The 4 year old needing my attention.
Getting the 1 year old down for a nap.
She didn't nap long enough. Half the laundry is folding... darn.
 Get lunch made.
Clean up lunch.
Play a game with the kids.
 Baby is clinging to my leg needing attention.
I have to go to the bathroom. 1 year old sits on the bathroom floor while another kids knocks miraculously needing something that second.
This routine again and again and again.
Start dinner.
Have the kids semi help me set the table.
Eat dinner, sort of.
Someone needs a drink. Or seconds.
I quickly eat my meal because the baby is standing in her high chair.
Get her in the bath.
Get her out of the bath.
 Get the older ones in the shower.
Get them dressed for bed.
Teeth brushed.
Get them into bed.
Someone needs a drink or one last hug.
Constant needs.
Everyone needs me.
 No time for myself.

Don't get me wrong, when my husband is home he is a huge help. He plays with the kids, he helps around the house but he leaves. And, when he leaves, he is alone. He gets to drive in his car alone. In silence if he wants. No one asking questions. When he is at work he talks to adults. He can go to lunch with an adult. Have an adult conversation. Get back in his car without buckling 3 seat belts that aren't his. He comes home to a meal made and stories about a busy day in the world of adulthood and real conversations. He plays with the kids or helps with the dishes or bath time. Always a huge help. But, there is still a kid clinging to me or needing something from me.

From the time I wake up to the time I fall asleep at night I am thinking of someone else. I rarely think of my own needs. I am up in the middle of the night taking care of other peoples needs.

My husband has said I can get out of the house. To just plan a time to get away from it all and spend a few hours alone. It sounds wonderful. But, I either take 3 kids with me or have to find someone to watch the kids and after all that planning it doesn't really seem worth it.

Being a mom is so much work. My husband will never understand the constant worry and tending to little ones on a daily and nightly basis. The small things like a luxury just to leave the house alone and know everything will be taken care of and after return there will most likely be a meal ready and everything is still how it's supposed to be.

Yes, I'm complaining. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I'm overwhelmed.

I am a mom.

There are just some things my husband will never understand. And, when the kids are grown, I will realize that it's okay that he didn't understand it. And, life will be just fine.

But, when I am in the middle of the chaos, it's hard.

And, he will never understand.